15 Hours of Messy Parenting

Parenting is a messy business.  Here’s a 15 hour snapshot (though definitely, thankfully, not representative of most 15 hour spans!)

5:30PM – I get home with the boys and R has pooped.  I change his diaper.

6:30PM – T is about to give C&R baths, so I take their diapers off and they have both pooped.

7PM – While I’m carrying R to his crib to go to sleep, he pukes a HUGE puke.  It looks like everything he ate for dinner and possibly all day.

5:30AM – R wakes up crying, which he never does this early.  I figure he must be hungry since he puked 2 pounds of food last night, so I get him and nurse him.  I put him back in his crib and he goes back to sleep.

6:30AM – R wakes up.  I get him and nurse him again.  He falls back asleep in our bed.  T lays by him so he doesn’t roll out of the bed.

6:40AM – I go to get C who has just woken up.  I see that his diaper did not contain his poop and it’s run down both his pajama legs.  There’s also poop on his sheets from when C rolled around in his sleep after the poopsplosion.  I get C to the bathroom and give him a “wipes bath”.  If I had been more awake, I would have realized this situation required running water.  Instead, I used 10 wipes and then some more for me.  He’s crying during all this because what he really wants is to nurse, so I finish cleaning him up and nurse him.

7AM – R is a little fussy.  Out of laziness, I nurse him.

We get out of bed to go downstairs to play and have breakfast.  R immediately pukes up a massive amount of milk.  I guess that’s what happens when you nurse three times in a 90 minute span.  I think he’s done puking, so I hand him to T so I can clean up.  He pukes on T.  I take him to the bathroom.  T cleans up himself, our bed and floor.  I change R who has pooped (diarrhea).  I have to do this while R is standing because he is otherwise threatening to commit kamikaze off the changing table.
At this point, I’m almost naked because all my clothes have been either pooped or puked on.

7:15AM – We get to the playroom.  T and I are getting ourselves ready for the day.  I take a shower because the milk bath R gave me doesn’t leave me feeling clean.  C&R have some Cheerios in their playroom while T is making breakfast.  I go into the playroom and step in what seems like spit up Cheerios mixed with milk.  No big deal, so I call to T who brings me something to wipe it up with.  R seems unfazed that he’s puked and is dancing to Death Cab and New Order.  I quickly realize what I have stepped in is actually very runny poop and once I find the source, realize that poop is also running down R’s leg.  I guess I didn’t put his diaper on that well while he was standing!  Tony takes him into the shower to wash him down and change his clothes.  I disinfect the floor and my foot.

8AM T finishes making breakfast.  They boys eat, while we watch nervously, fearing that they could puke at any moment.  R finishes first and hangs out with me while I fold laundry.  C finishes eating and comes to hang out with R and me.  T takes R in the kitchen to clean up breakfast.  I hang out with C in the playroom.  R has pooped again (diarrhea).  T changes him.  C poops and it’s running down his leg.  I actually feel a little better that is wasn’t my fault that R had poop running down his leg earlier.  I take him into the shower and wash him off.  It looks like we’re using disposable diapers today.  We cancel all our plans that involved being in a place where we can’t quickly drive home in case of more puking or poopsplosions.

15 hour poop count: C – 3, R – 5
15 hour puke count: C – 0, R – 2

R is definitely ahead on this one.

I feel like we’re stuck in a terrible Would You Rather/Saw game – puking vs poopsplosions.

I’m so thankful that we have a washer/dryer.

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