Things to Do Before You Have Kids

Don’t get me wrong, I love my kids, but there are some things I really wish I had done or done more of before I had mine.  Here is some advice I have for my kidless friends:

  • Watch a lot of movies in theaters.  You will only get to do this once a year after you have kids.
  • Eat dinner in restaurants after 5PM.
  • Sleep in every weekend.  “Sleeping in” after you have kids is sleeping until 8AM.
  • Go on vacation, especially abroad.  Save your road trips for when you have kids and can’t afford plane tickets anymore.  If you go on road trips, drive for 6 hours without stopping because you can.
  • Go on vacation whenever you want, not when you are forced to because your daycare is closed and you can’t afford coverage.
  • Sleep on planes.  Relish that no one is sitting on your lap, poking you, or asking you for stuff.  Appreciate that you don’t have to worry if other passengers are annoyed by anything you or your kids are doing.
  • Get to the airport one hour before your flight is going to leave.  Bring only a carryon and buy food at the airport because you know you’re going to eat it.
  • Finish your home improvement projects now or prepare to spend a lot of money to pay someone else to do it after you have kids.
  • Ride your bike to work.  You can’t fit two kids, their stuff, and your work stuff in a bike trailer.
  • Go to happy hour.
  • Go dancing with adults to music by Outkast instead of Music Together.
  • Shop in stores.  You will soon be limited to online shopping.
  • Make plans with friends and be on time or even early.
  • Care about what you wear and what you look like.  Maybe even wear makeup or perfume.
  • Call friends up and make impromptu plans for that night.
  • Enjoy going to gym classes at scheduled times and don’t fall asleep while you’re kickboxing (Oh wait, I used to do that when I was a teacher and only slept 3 hours a night … well, that was similar to having a newborn except I was much younger and more energetic!)
  • Read books, actual physical books.  You’ll be relegated to audiobooks while you’re driving to work after dropping your kids off at daycare soon enough.

I’m sure there’s more, but I’m too tired to think of them right now.

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